Tune in to Gear Up! Adventures in Parenthood with Clinical Social Workers Heather Bouwman & Kristina Boersma as they explore the highs and lows of parenthood with lots of insight and a little humor, too.
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In this episode, Kristina and Heather dive into the art of managing our daily schedules while keeping life balanced and fulfilling. Drawing from their own experiences of juggling grad school, parenting, and all the chaos in between, they chat about the importance of creating space (aka margins) to avoid burnout. They share how hectic schedules can take a toll on sleep, relationships, and overall well-being, and offer tips on how to bring more mindfulness and intention into our routines.
They also discuss the crucial benefits of getting outdoors, connecting with nature, and building meaningful family rituals—no grand gestures needed! By the end, Kristina and Heather remind us that a balanced life, with time for both rest and play, isn’t just essential for our own health, but also for modeling healthy habits for our kids and strengthening family bonds.
This conversation is all about practical advice and a refreshing take on finding harmony in a busy world!
Kristina and Heather discuss the importance of allowing children to experience frustration and disappointment to build resilience and problem-solving skills. They introduce the concept of the “wall of futility,” where children must confront and process their emotions to develop coping and adaptability skills. Emphasizing empathy over rescue, they highlight the need for parents to resist the urge to distract or minimize their children’s feelings. They share personal stories and strategies, such as acknowledging feelings and not rushing to fix problems, to help children navigate through disappointment and adapt. The conversation takes a look at finding the balance between advocating for children and fostering their independence.
Kristina and Heather discuss the importance of allowing children to experience frustration and disappointment to build resilience and problem-solving skills. They introduce the concept of the “wall of futility,” where children must confront and process their emotions to develop coping and adaptability skills. Emphasizing empathy over rescue, they highlight the need for parents to resist the urge to distract or minimize their children’s feelings. They share personal stories and strategies, such as acknowledging feelings and not rushing to fix problems, to help children navigate through disappointment and adapt. The conversation takes a look at finding the balance between advocating for children and fostering their independence.
Clinical social workers Kristina and Heather dive into the world of managing children’s emotional outbursts with a mix of expert advice, practical strategies, and a sprinkle of humor. They break down how understanding your child’s brain development can transform your approach, and share techniques like using the “look up” method to help shift focus from the emotional brain to the more rational frontal lobe. They discuss how non-verbal communication can be our secret weapon, why it’s best to avoid teaching in the heat of the moment, and how simple phrases like “first and then” and “make me an offer I can say yes to” can encourage cooperation and calm. Plus, Kristina and Heather explain the power of positive reinforcement, the importance of clear, consistent communication, and the magic of phrases like “asked and answered” to diffuse tension.
Join clinical social workers Heather and Kristina, as they explore the profound impact of life’s transitions on us and our children. In this engaging conversation, they delve into the importance of honoring both beginnings and endings, with our children. They discuss ways parents can guide their kids through the emotional landscape of change, helping them navigate feelings of grief, gratitude, and excitement.
Through heartfelt personal stories and practical strategies—like creating memory boxes and using calming language—Heather and Kristina offer insights into how parents can model emotional health and create space for children to express their authentic feelings. From the bittersweet moments of a child starting school to the challenges of parents moving on to new jobs, they highlight how these milestones, though often joyful, can also stir complex emotions.
In a world that often rushes through life’s transitions, this conversation serves as a reminder to slow down, be present, and give ourselves—and our children—the time and space needed to truly process and embrace change. Whether we’re navigating our own transitions or supporting a loved one, this discussion offers valuable tools for fostering emotional resilience and connection.
In the final episode of their 3-part series on Discipline, clinical social workers Heather and Kristina wrap things up with some practical, easy-to-apply strategies for parents. This time, they’re focusing on the power of using an assertive voice in parenting. They emphasize the need for clear and direct communication—no room for questioning or extra politeness like “please” and “thank you” that can confuse kids.
To help manage resistance, they introduce a simple three-step process: empathy, expectation, and choice. It’s a strategy that allows parents to remain firm while still showing understanding. Heather and Kristina also recommend using visual aids and breaking tasks down into clear steps, helping children better grasp what’s expected of them.
But, as they point out, making the shift to an assertive voice isn’t always easy. It takes practice and consistency—especially for parents who are used to being passive or aggressive in their communication. They remind us that self-care and leaning on our village for support are key during this transition.
This episode is packed with valuable insights, encouraging parents to stay calm, stay consistent, and, most importantly, take care of themselves while navigating the challenges of this parenting adventure.
In this episode, Kristina and Heather discuss effective discipline strategies that focus on children’s skill development rather than controlling behavior. They share the inspiring story of a father named Tom, who transformed his parenting approach over two years by focusing on personal growth, self-care, and understanding his emotional triggers. Tom’s journey involved improving his sleep, nutrition, and stress management, which led to increased patience and a stronger bond with his daughters.
The hosts emphasize the importance of self-regulation, modeling calm behavior, and the long-term commitment to parenting. They also preview upcoming episodes on discipline strategies.
Clinical social workers Heather and Kristina discuss the difference between discipline and punishment, emphasizing a growth-focused approach. They highlight the negative impact of punitive models on children’s mental health and attachment.
Sharing personal stories, they illustrate how modeling positive behavior and providing do-overs can foster resilience and healthy development. They stress the importance of co-parenting and understanding the root causes of children’s behaviors.
The conversation underscores the need for a supportive, non-punitive environment where children feel safe to learn and make mistakes, promoting long-term growth and connection.
Clinical social workers Kristina and Heather discuss the critical role gratitude plays in parenting, specifically in shifting mindsets from victimhood to resilience. They highlight practical strategies like expressing gratitude at dinner, keeping gratitude jars, and using visual reminders.
Gratitude is linked to improved mental health, reduced depression and anxiety, and enhanced happiness. They stress the difference between genuine gratitude and toxic positivity, advocating for authentic expression and critical thinking. They share personal stories that illustrate how gratitude can transform negative situations into opportunities for growth. They also discuss modeling gratitude and involving children in giving activities, such as leaving pennies for others to use for a fun activity for kids at a local grocery store chain.
In this episode Kristina and Heather, clinical social workers, discuss the importance of setting realistic expectations for children, balancing effort with perfectionism, and establishing clear, consistent boundaries. The conversation highlights the benefits of natural consequences over imposed ones and the necessity of following through with consequences.
They emphasize the significance of body language, empathy, and offering choices, sharing personal anecdotes about handling a child’s perfectionism and the impact of forgetting items at school.
They discuss how important it is to set developmentally appropriate expectations and how important, yet challenging, it can be for parents to be consistent role models.
Clinical social workers and moms, Heather and Kristina, discuss the importance of setting clear boundaries with children to promote their success and family well-being.
They emphasize that boundaries should be consistent and not overly rigid, as this helps children understand acceptable behaviors and values. They also highlight the need for parents to communicate expectations clearly and consistently, as our kids are not mind-readers.
The conversation also covers handling sibling conflicts, teaching children to respect boundaries, and the significance of emotional safety. They stress that boundaries should evolve as children grow, focusing on teaching values and nurturing their development.
Join Kristina and Heather in this lively episode as they don their detective hats and continue their conversation about the intriguing world of shifting behaviors and how to better understand these changes in our kids.
They explore clever strategies for decoding children’s behaviors, especially when it comes to food and screen time. With a focus on connection, they share how family meals can become nurturing moments that balance parental guidance with kids’ ability to listen to their bodies. Get ready for some real talk as they recount their own parenting adventures understanding their own childrens’ food preferences. Plus, they shine a light on the effects of screen time, suggesting a fun 15-minute rule to prevent dopamine overload.
Heather and Kristina also remind us all of the crucial role nature and time outside play in boosting family health and harmony. Tune in for a blend of laughter, insights, and practical tips that will help you navigate the ups and downs of chasing those “whys” when it comes to behavior shifts and “being the detective” in your own home.
Join Heather and Kristina as they embark on a two part series to uncover the secrets behind those puzzling behavior shifts we all encounter.
Armed with magnifying glasses and a playful spirit, they illuminate the essential clues—diet, sleep, screen time, physical activity, and attachment—that unlock the treasure chest of a child’s emotions. It’s like a scavenger hunt for the heart! With their usual compassionate, “no nonsense” approach, Heather and Kristina tackle how major life changes, like moving homes or the arrival of a new sibling, can create ripples in a child’s mood, leading us to a fascinating interplay between environment and behavior.
With a dash of humor, they remind us not to jump to conclusions, advocating for a thoughtful, detective-like approach that seeks to decode the “whys” behind these shifts.
In this episode, Heather and Kristina continue their exploration of David Keirsey’s temperament theory, which outlines four fundamental temperaments: Guardians, Artisans, Idealists, and Rationals.
Drawing from their own parenting journeys, they delve into the Idealists and Rationals, sharing valuable insights that illuminate how these temperaments shape our children’s unique perspectives.
Heather and Kristina discuss how understanding these traits can enhance our parenting by allowing us to tailor our approaches to fit each child’s individual needs. They explore the delightful dynamics that come with each temperament, revealing how this awareness helps us approach parenting with greater empathy and joy.
Join them as they celebrate the diverse ways our children experience the world, empowering us all to support and nurture their growth in the most loving ways!
In this first episode in a two-part series, Kristina and Heather, discuss David Keirsey’s temperament theory as a tool in parenting, focusing on two of the four temperaments: Guardians and Artisans. Guardians (approximately 45% of the population) are factual, reliable, and duty-bound, valuing law and order. They are often responsible parents and leaders but can be misperceived as pessimistic or self-righteous. Artisans (approximately 30% of the population) are optimistic, daring, and adaptable, valuing freedom and impact. They are creative and spontaneous but may struggle with rules and planning.
Understanding temperament allows parents to recognize and appreciate the innate differences in how their children perceive the world and interact with it.
Rather than expecting all children to respond the same way, parents can adjust their communication, discipline, and expectations to align with each child’s natural tendencies.
Continuing their conversation on “The Parenting Journey,” Heather and Kristina explore embracing the unexpected and letting go of preconceived expectations both of ourselves as parents and of our children. They discuss the importance of discovering and celebrating each child’s unique identity, rather than trying to mold them into a predetermined vision. They share personal experiences of navigating parenting challenges, such as dealing with a child’s learning differences and embracing their child’s specific interests, even when they are outside the parent’s comfort zone. The conversation emphasizes the value of building a supportive community of friends and family who can provide encouragement, perspective, and a listening ear during difficult times. They highlight the role of imaginative play in a child’s development and the need for parents to be flexible and adapt to their child’s needs. This episode underscores the importance of finding personal coping strategies, like using music, and using humor to manage stress and maintain a positive mindset throughout the parenting journey.
In this episode, Kristina and Heather discuss the importance of proactive parenting and building strong attachments with children. They emphasize the significance of rituals, such as family meals and bedtime routines, in fostering connection and resilience. They share personal experiences, like prioritizing family meals despite busy schedules and the impact of one-on-one time. They highlight the importance of modeling positive behavior and consistent values, such as generosity and respect, to help children develop these characteristics. The conversation underscores the need for intentional parenting to create a secure and loving family environment.
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